You Can't Save ME
by lupin's-wolvesbain
Summary: Dib is depressed and Zim notices, will he put aside his need to destroy the earth for someone who he calls an enemy, ZADR slash, set in high school warnings inside rating may go up
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Dib is depressed and Zim notices, will he put aside his need to destroy the earth for someone who he calls an enemy, ZADR slash, set in high school warnings inside

Sorry that this chapter is so short

(AN) Warning, this fic will include cutting, suicidal themes, violence, language, sexual themes, mild to moderate psychosis, self hatred, and other violent or S.I., themes

"Blah" speaking,

'Blah' thinking,

blah flash backs and memories

blah different points of view

p.s. I am assuming that dib and Gaz's mom is dead, so bear with me ok,

Disclaimer- I do not in any way own ore hope to own the absolutely wonderful Invader Zim. And sadly, I am in no way associated with its wonderful creator.

And now, on to the story

Zim

"Dib-worm" Zim shouted from across the street, his crimson eyes narrowed in suspicion at his enemy's silence. Dib ignored the ranting calls and kept his head pointed toward the ground.

"Dib you filthy stink-being, don't you dare ignore the almighty Zim" Zim shouted, watching as Dib walked through the doors and into their school.

'Damn stinking human' 'he's been like this forever, I can't even get a rise out of him anymore,' 'who am I supposed to argue with if he refuses to talk with me' Zim thought angrily. 'But then again' Zim thought, his mood improving 'this means that I, the almighty Zim, am free to destroy the world' Zim continued to plot, laughing manically the entire time.

Dib

Dib took his seat quietly, ignoring the laughter and gossip around him. Ignoring the happy faces and the overly excited attitude that everyone seemed to poses, he took out his newly checked-out book on the paranormal from the library and stared blankly at the pages and pretended to read.

'Why dose Zim always have to pick so many fights?' he asked himself. 'Because I deserve it' he told himself hatefully. 'I'm such a looser' 'I can't even stop myself from mutilating my own arms' he scolded himself, unconsciously rubbing at the freshly scabbing wounds that he had created in the bathroom just a few moments ago.

'I hurt everyone' he said, thinking of how often Gaz told him that he was worthless. 'Everything is my fault' he said, remembering all of the bad things that had happened. 'It's my fault that dad doesn't pay attention to us' 'and…it's my fault that mom's dead' he could feel the tears welling up in his eyes, but he refused to let them out. 'I don't deserve to let them out' 'I don't deserve anything…on second though…I do deserve something…I deserve to suffer… and to die'

He continued to stare blankly, ignoring the teacher's calls for silence.


	2. Chapter 2

Summary: Dib is depressed and Zim notices, will he put aside his need to destroy the earth for someone who he calls an enemy, ZADR slash, set in high school

This chapter is a little longer…not much…but a little.

(AN) Warning, this fic will include cutting, suicidal themes, violence, language, sexual themes, mild to moderate psychosis, self hatred, and other violent or S.I., themes

"Blah" speaking,

'Blah' thinking,

blah flash backs and memories

BLAH different points of view

'"Blah voices"' in head

Disclaimer- I do not in any way own ore hope to own the absolutely wonderful Invader Zim. And sadly, I am in no way associated with its wonderful creator.

And now….on with the story

DIB

He could feel the tears streaming down his face, but he didn't care. He was currently kneeling in front of the toilet, his arm extended over it, razor in hand. '''Do it Dib''' taunted the voice that he called his conscience.

'''You know you want to''' 'no' he thought his hand shaking. '''it'll make you feel better''' the voice argued. '''it'll make all your pain go away''' it soothed. Dib stared at the blade, watching mesmerized as the dim lights of the school bathroom glistened on it's surface. He continued to stare, inwardly debating. 'My arms are already covered…what could a few more hurt?' he questioned himself, bringing the blade closer to his arm.

He ran the blade slowly over the layers of cuts and scars, watching as the blood slowly bubbled to the surface and pooled about the shallow slit. Almost instantly, he felt calm, as though all of his worries, anxiety, self hatred, pain, and longing for death just vanished. It was as though nothing in the entire world could bother him.

The pain was nothing….he deserved the pain, but the release was everything, he knew that he would regret this latter, like in gym, but he didn't care at the moment, all that mattered was his release.

'''good job dib''' the voice cooed quietly, as though it were in some way comforting him. '''now…dig deeper this time''' the voice cooed softly. '''your such a good boy''' it said cooing softly in order to get Dib to obey.

Silently, tears running down his face, he complied to the voices soft urgings almost without thought. He gave in, no longer fighting the urge. 'it's not like anyone ever comes in here anyway' he thought, letting the blood drip from his arm, watching as it fell and landed with a small splash in the toile water, were it slowly diluted, making patterns in the water.

Making one last slit, he grabbed a hand full of toilet paper and pressed down, hard. Letting go temporarily, he placed the blade in his bag and opened the door and walked over to the sink.

ZIM

'filthy-disgusting-human-stink being' Zim cursed inwardly, walking towards the school bathroom. "how dare that disgusting human regurgitate it's revolting earthen food onto the almighty Zim….he will suffer …oh yes….he WILL SUFFER!" Zim yelled, sinking back into his old habit of talking his thoughts aloud.

Pushing the door open, he stopped dead in his tracks. "what are you doing Dib-human" Zim said, his voice dangerously low. He watched as Dib looked from his arm to the door. "Don't even think of it Dib-worm" Zim said, walking forward.

"Now…tell the almighty Zim who has done this to you" he said, reaching forward and grabbing the panicking Dib's arm. "Tell me dib-worm" "why do you care" Dib spat, jerking his arm away from the curious looking alien.

"I don't" Zim said, inwardly wondering why in fact he did care. ":well…then forget everything that you've seen here." dib said, applying a paper towel to the slowly drying blood that was forming on the cuts.

"tell me now stink-being" Zim said, reaching forward once again "Dib human" Zim said, stopping. "Are you crying?" Zim said, staring at Dibs tear stained cheeks "I said forget it" Dib shouted, pulling his sleeves over the no longer bleeding cuts.

"I will find out Dib… oh yes, I will" Zim shouted after the retreating Dib. Dib left, leaving Zim to ponder his new feelings of worry and pity. 'why DO I care' Zim thought, walking out of the dimly lit bathroom. Zim walked down the hall and to his next class, his mind never leaving the complex subject of Dib.


	3. Chapter 3

THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO drum roll RINNY SEGA YAAAAAAAAYYYYYY, special thanks goes out to them, because they rock, thanks for the reviews Rinny Sega

Summary: Dib is depressed and Zim notices, will he put aside his need to destroy the earth for someone who he calls an enemy, ZADR slash, set in high school

(AN) Warning, this fic will include cutting, suicidal themes, violence, language, sexual themes, mild to moderate psychosis, self hatred, and other violent or S.I., themes

"Blah" speaking,

'Blah' thinking,

blah flash backs and memories

BLAH different points of view

'"Blah voices"' in head

ido not in any way own ore hope to own the absolutely wonderful Invader Zim. And sadly, I am in no way associated with its wonderful creator.

And now….on with the story

'What could be wrong with the Dib-worm…is he being attacked by his enemy?' Zim thought remembering Dib's mutilated arms. 'But what other enemy could he possibly have than me?' he thought, shaking his head softly.

Zim looked over to Dib and stared. 'Since when do I pity a human' Zim scolded himself. He looked at Dib and his glare softened. Dib was staring at a pocket in his bag longingly. 'What could he be thinking' Zim thought sadly. '''why do you care''' his conscience asked. 'Why do I care' Zim thought searching himself for an answer.

Sure, he cared weather or not the dib-human stopped him in his conquest to conquer earth…but recently, his thoughts had changed. He noticed things, things that the average MALE Irken shouldn't notice. But why? Why did he care if the dib human was hurt…he shouldn't…but he did? 'Why was he so anxious to get away…did he not want me to see his defeat…yes, that must be it' Zim thought, forgetting his previous thoughts. 'I'll find out your secret Dib…I'll find out' Zim promised as he switched his view from Dib to the teacher.

DIB

'What if he tells the councilor….or worse, Gaz and dad?' Dib thought, his mind racing. He began to panic, thinking of all the possibilities, which none seemed good to him. 'What if they put me in an asylum' he thought, looking around in his panic. 'Where'd everyone go' he thought, calming down slightly. Looking around, he saw that he and Zim were the only ones left. Zim was staring off into space, a concerned look over his face.

'Should I tell him' he asked himself, inwardly debating. Walking toward the door, he decided that he couldn't just let Zim sit there. "Zim…It's time to go" he said loud enough to hopefully be heard through Zim's state of severe thought. He walked through the door before Zim could question his actions further. Zim looked up and then looked around. HE gathered his stuff as quickly as possible and set off to get ready for his 'mission'.

ZIM

"Gir…come, we are going on a mission." Zim announced as he walked past his robotic parental units. "Oooooooo…..I love tacos" Gir shouted while tackling his master with a cheesy hug' "Gir, put the pizza down and get off…we're going to spy on the Dib-human" Zim said, gagging at the foul smell of pizza. "Yay…I like Dib…he has the shiny thing" Gir said hopping around excitedly. "What shiny thing" Zim asked looking incredulously. Gir didn't answer; he just continued to run around excitedly.

Yawning, Zim set the binoculars down. He and Gir were currently hidden behind a rather large bush. They had been watching (or rather Zim had been watching and Gir had been oooing and awing at every leaf that fell from the bush.) Dib. At first, he just sat and stared at the door, as though expecting someone to burst in at any moment. Then he had watched TV, and now he was staring once again at the door, every once and a while, he would get up and open the door, only to close it again.

'this Dib-human is boring' Zim thought yawning again. Laying down, Zim ignored the fact that Gir had just picked up the binoculars. "oooooooo…so shiny" Gir said, hopping up and down next to Zim's head. "What" Zim said, bolting up and snatching the binoculars from Gir.

Looking through the window, Zim watched as dib held a(admittedly very shiny) blade in his hand. He was staring at it with an expression of adoration on his pale face. He watched as dib took the blade and slid it across his arm (the opposite one as before) he saw Dib's face slacken and become blank. Zim watched in horror as Dib repeatedly slid the blade across his marred arm. Zim instantly felt pity for Dib, and something else…he couldn't quite explain it, but he knew one thing…he had a desire, a desire to stop Dib from ever hurting himself again.


	4. Chapter 4

I had originaly planned to make this one long chapter, but im malking it two short chapters instead

I AM IN NO WAY CLAIMING TO BE A GOOD AUTHOR-THINGY…..IF U DO NOT LIKE THIS STORY, THEN DEAL WITH IT

Summary: Dib is depressed and Zim notices, will he put aside his need to destroy the earth for someone who he calls an enemy, ZADR slash, set in high school

(AN) Warning, this fic will include cutting, suicidal themes, violence, language, sexual themes, mild to moderate psychosis, self hatred, and other violent or S.I., themes

"Blah" speaking,

'Blah' thinking,

blah+ flash backs and memories

BLAH different points of view

'"Blah voices"' in head

-----blah----- dream

Disclaimer- I do not in any way own ore hope to own the absolutely wonderful Invader Zim. And sadly, I am in no way associated with its wonderful creator.

Oh, and for this story, I for got to tell you all, I DO NOT CARE IF THIS IS ACCURATE, this story is practically au…or is au….I don't know

And now….on with the story. p.s., sorry if I suck at slash, this is my first attempt.

ZIM

Zim laid on his back staring at the ceiling. 'why would he do that to himself' 'dose he get pleasure from it' 'and why do I care' he asked himself knowing that he wouldn't get any answers just lying there. He turned over and faced the wall. He laid there, thoughts swirling about his head, thoughts that he couldn't ever seem to find the answers to. He turned over again and let himself drift off into sleep.

----- Everything was red, deep crimson surrounded him, it was as though their was nothing, no sound at all. He could see Dib, he was kneeling, and he had the blade in his hand, 'he's going to hurt himself again' Zim thought, as feeling of despair and pain washed over him. He couldn't let dib hurt himself again, he just couldn't.

He ran forward, but it was as though he wasn't moving. The blade touched Dib's skin and Zim yelled, but no sound came out.

Dib looked up. " save me Zim" he said, breaking the silence, his voice was empty it held no emotion, it was as blank as his eyes, and it broke Zim's many heart.

He made a slow slice across his arm, and smiled. "what's the matter" he said, his voice now sarcastic and condescending. "don't you want to save me…don't you 'love' me" he said, laughing harshly. He made another slit and laughed.

"do you really want to know why I do this Zim?" Zim tried to talk, but found himself incapable. "YOU make me do it Zim…with all of your insults and constant bantering…it's all your fault" he spat hatefully.

"I don't love you…heck, I don't even like you…in fact… I HATE you" he said, laughing as he saw the hurt expression in Zim's eyes. "You're a freak, an ALIEN, you don't deserve love" he said calmly, making yet another large slit.

Zim just stood there, he had failed… he couldn't stop Dib…and worse of all, Dib hated him, he didn't know why that fact hurt so much…and he didn't care. He just stood there, and let the tears stream down his face.-----

Zim bolted up, he sat there panting, trying as hard as he could not to call out Dib's name. reaching up, he wasn't surprised to find tears streaming down his face. Wiping his eyes, he sighed. 'I'm going to save Dib if it's the last thing that I do' he promised himself, now more determined than ever. Laying back down, he decided to try to get a little more sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Summary: Dib is depressed and Zim notices, will he put aside his need to destroy the earth for someone who he calls an enemy, ZADR slash, set in high school

(AN) Warning, this fic will include cutting, suicidal themes, violence, language, sexual themes, mild to moderate psychosis, self hatred, and other violent or S.I., themes

"Blah" speaking,

'Blah' thinking,

blah+ flash backs and memories

BLAH different points of view

'"Blah voices"' in head

-----blah----- dream

_blah _Zim's note

**blah **Dib's note

Disclaimer- I do not in any way own ore hope to own the absolutely wonderful Invader Zim. And sadly, I am in no way associated with its wonderful creator.

Oh, and for this story, I for got to tell you all, I DO NOT CARE IF THIS IS ACCURATE, this story is practically au…or is au….I don't know

And now….on with the story

DIB

'why do I always have to feel so crappy in the morning' he thought to himself as he rolled over, only to bump his cut covered arm on the bedside table. Nearly all of his arms were covered in cuts, some were old and healing while others were fresh. '''because you deserve it''' the voice laughed. 'I do not' he thought bitterly to the voice trying to shut it up. ''' yeah…you keep telling yourself that''' it said sarcastically. ' I will' dib thought, getting up and putting on the day's cloths.

"what do you want Zim" Dib said quietly as he walked out of his front door. Zim was waiting beside the street. "why do you do that to yourself" Zim asked pointing to one of Dib's arms. "I don't know what you're talking about" he said, walking past Zim and down the sidewalk. "oh really" Zim said, grabbing one of Dib's arms and pulling up the sleeve slightly before the arm was yanked from his hand. "don't touch me" Dib said, his voice dangerously low. Turning, he headed toward the school.

"Answer me sti…Dib" Zim said, remembering part of his dream.

"why do you care" Dib asked quietly, not stopping. "I…" "Save it" Dib said, interrupting whatever it was that Zim was going to say. "But…" Zim started but was cut off as Dib entered the school building preventing him from making any more noise.

Dib took his seat and took out his physics book and turned to the proper page. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Zim looking at him with a determined look on his face. 'why dose he care…I don't deserve for him to care…maybe he just wants to study me so he can annihilate me or something' Dib thought, ignoring Zim's concerned gaze.

About midway through the class, a tiny piece of folded paper landed on his desk. Picking it up, he unfolded it and glared at the writing.

_Dib, I want to help, please let me save you._

Taking out his pencil, dib scratched a reply.

**Zim, I don't want your help**

Back and forth the letter went.

_why not_

**because I don't ok**

_I will save you…mark my words…I will_

**why do you care**

_because…I don't know why…but I do_

**you don't really care**

_yes I do…I want to save you_

**?why?**

_because…I…no longer hate you…I have this annoying compulsion to save you_

**So your doing this on an impulse…you don't really care?**

_yes…I mean no…I…do not confuse the almighty Zim_


	6. Chapter 6

Summary: Dib is depressed and Zim notices, will he put aside his need to destroy the earth for someone who he calls an enemy, ZADR slash, set in high school

(AN) Warning, this fic will include cutting, suicidal themes, violence, language, sexual themes, mild to moderate psychosis, self hatred, and other violent or S.I., themes

"Blah" speaking,

'Blah' thinking,

blah+ flash backs and memories

BLAH different points of view

'"Blah voices"' in head

-----blah----- dream

_blah _Zim's note

**blah **Dib's note

Disclaimer- I do not in any way own ore hope to own the absolutely wonderful Invader Zim. And sadly, I am in no way associated with its wonderful creator.

Oh, and for this story, I for got to tell you all, I DO NOT CARE IF THIS IS ACCURATE, this story is practically au…or is au….I don't know

And now….on with the story

DIB

"What's that you've got there Dib" the teacher asked, snatching the note out of Dib's hands. "hmmm" the teacher said reading over the note. "Zim, Dib, school councilor, Now!" the teacher said walking towards the door. Dib watched, his heart racing as Zim walked forward and stood beside the teacher.

"Zim, you are to show this to the councilor" she said, handing the note to Zim. Dib stood and walked out the door which the teacher was holding open. "Good job Zim" Dib said sarcastically. "You just ruined my life" he said his voice deadly serious. "and why is that" Zim asked confused "Because…if you tell them about….my…problem…they'll put me in an asylum" Dib said seriously. "What is this a-sy-lum you speak of" Zim said, looking Dib in the eye. "It's a mental institution" seeing Zim's confused look, Dib clarified. "It's a hospital…it's sort of like a prison…they put people with…problems…like mine in there"

"Well, if it's a hospital, then they can cure you" Zim said looking even more confused. "No Zim…they lock you up and force medicine down your throat and force you to talk against your will." Dib ranted. "So…they torture you to get this information" Zim asked horrified at the prospect of dib being tortured. "no, they keep you locked up until you talk" Dib finished. Zim was silent for a few seconds. "I will save the Dib from this a-sy-lum." Zim shouted looking at Dib expectantly "And what are we going to tell the councilor" Dib asked curiously. 'why would he care…if I was put away, then he would be free to take over the world' Dib thought, voicing his thoughts, he watched as Zim's face lightened, and then contorted.

'''he doesn't care about you''' the voice laughed. '''no one cares about you''' it continued, Dib scowled and tried to block the noise out. "I know" Zim suddenly shouted. "We'll lie" he said, amazed at his 'plan'. 'it took him all that time to come up with that' dib thought, relieved that Zim wasn't going to turn him in.

"Hello," the school councilor said, he was a small man who looked remarkably like a squirrel. "We're here because we were passing notes in class" Dib said truthfully "Alright, what was the note about" the councilor said, his squeaky voice vibrating in the hope of receiving some juicy quarrel. "Just a plan to meet after school so that we could do homework" Zim lied expertly.

"Alright, the man sighed, looking disappointed. "Detention, go sit in my office, I'll be right back" he said walking towards the bathroom.

After hours of sitting there, dib finally spoke. "May I go to the bathroom" he asked, within patiently for the councilor to finish his work on the computer. "sure" he said distractedly not even looking up from his computer

Dib walked out and down the hall, heading straight for his usual stall (the cleanest) in the old bathroom that was rarely used. (they use the newer one.)

He kneeled down and took out his most prized possession, his blade.

ZIM

"Teacher-person, I need to go to the rest-room-facilities" Zim said, standing and leaving without waiting for a reply. 'Dib-worm…please be ok.' he thought heading towards the bathroom that he had found dib in the other day.

Bursting through the door he jacked open the first stall revealing a sobbing dib whose arm was covered in blood.

DIB

'''he doesn't love you…no one dose, not Gaz, not your dad, and not Zim…he hates you''' "that's not true" he sobbed ignoring the loud bang. '''he wants you to hurt yourself…he wants you to kill yourself…he hates you''' '''you love him don't you''' the voice taunted, taking advantage of Dib's weakened state of mind. 'no' he argued, still sobbing '''Yes you do, admit it, you're always staring at him…your thoughts have changed and you know it.''' the voice laughed '''if you love him you will do what he wants you to do…you will kill yourself.''' '''go on…slice away….that's a good boy, hurt yourself, you deserve it after all.''' '''remember what you did to your mother''' it taunted.


	7. Chapter 7

In the flash back Dib is like five and Dib's mom has been severely depressed for years, but she hides it from her children. just though u ought to know for future reference

Summary: Dib is depressed and Zim notices, will he put aside his need to destroy the earth for someone who he calls an enemy, ZADR slash, set in high school

(AN) Warning, this fic will include cutting, suicidal themes, violence, language, sexual themes, mild to moderate psychosis, self hatred, and other violent or S.I., themes

"Blah" speaking,

'Blah' thinking,

flash back flash backs and memories

BLAH different points of view

'"Blah voices"' in head

Disclaimer- I do not in any way own ore hope to own the absolutely wonderful Invader Zim. And sadly, I am in no way associated with its wonderful creator.

Oh, and for this story, I for got to tell you all, I DO NOT CARE IF THIS IS ACCURATE, this story is practically au…or is au….I don't know

And now….on with the story

DIB

Dib sobbed and made another slit, 'it's all my fault' he told himself.

flash back

"mommy, mommy, look at me mommy" Dib shouted as he swung as high as he could on the swings. His mother was sitting in the chair near the house smiling and laughing while she held Gaz in her arms.

"come on Dib, it's time to go into the house" she said smiling. "But mo-om" Dib whined, "I don't wana go" Dib said, stamping his foot. "come on sweetie, I have a surprise for you." she said, sweetly. Dib's face brightened almost instantly. "A surprise" he said, running and jumping up and down excitedly in front of his mother. "Yes dib, a surprise." she laughed.

Walking inside, dib was meat with the site of a large, bran-new-looking teddy bear. It was about four foot tall and was super fuzzy and it had a large bright blue ribbon tied around it's neck. Dib squealed with delight. "You got me another pudgy" Dib screamed excitedly, remembering his old torn and lumpy teddy bear that had once looked like the new one on the table. "No Dib, I fixed your old one" his mother laughed.

Dib sat there, trying to comprehend what his mother had just told him. Tears began to leak out of the sides of his eyes and his grin slowly vanished.

"You killed pudgy!" he shrieked, tears heading down his face. "No honey" his mother said soothingly, picking him up and giving him a hug. "I made him better" she said soothingly. "I fixed him" she said trying to sooth her crying son. "No…you…didn't" he sobbed, kicking and wiggling out of his mother's grip. "You killed him…I HATE YOU" he screamed running to his room.

His mother ran after him, but he had locked the door. "honey…come on, it'll be ok." she said through the door. "No it won't" Dib screamed "You'll like this pudgy just as much" she promised. "No, I hate it, I hate you" he screamed. At the door. "I never want to see you again" he screamed. Hopping on his bed and sobbing into the pillow.

DIB'S MOM

'he hate's me' she thought, as she held the knife. 'they'd be better off without me…I can't do anything right…they probably won't even remember' she thought, digging the ever sharp kitchen knife into her skin as hard as she could. 'they'll be better off' she told herself as she started to feel the effects of her deep cut. The blood was poring fast, there was no turning back now. She could feel herself falling, her head felt so light, almost as though she could fly. Her vision was getting dark and for once…she didn't care…not about anything.

DIB

Wiping his eyes tiredly he looked up. "mommy" he said, opening his door and walking out into the hallway. "Mommy?" he asked again, wondering were she was. "mo…mommy" he stuttered looking at the crumpled heap on the floor. "MOMMY" he screamed, running forward and turning her over. "no mommy, please" Dib sobbed, tears leaking from his eyes. "I'm sorry mommy, I'm so sorry" "please get up mommy…please" he sobbed waking Gaz up. "Dib" she said tiredly rubbing her eyes. "Dib…wat's wong wit mommy" she said, beginning to cry. "Oh god" their dad said, walking through the doorway. "Kids go in the living room" he said, running over and checking for a pulse.

"Why won't mommy get up" Dib cried trying to struggle to see his mother. "Dib, go in the living room" he said firmly. "Dib, your mother's gone…she went to heaven" he said sadly. "Mommy" Gaz screamed, sobbing. "dis is aw your fault Dib" she sobbed hitting her brother. "You killed mommy…you made her sad" she cried running off and to her room. 'I killed her' dib thought sadly before grabbing pudgy and heading to his room. He lay there for the whole knight, sobbing on and desperately clinging to pudgy…his only comfort.

End flashback


	8. Chapter 8

Summary: Dib is depressed and Zim notices, will he put aside his need to destroy the earth for someone who he calls an enemy, ZADR slash, set in high school

(AN) Warning, this fic will include cutting, suicidal themes, violence, language, sexual themes, mild to moderate psychosis, self hatred, and other violent or S.I., themes

"Blah" speaking,

'Blah' thinking,

flash back flash backs and memories

BLAH different points of view

'"Blah voices"' in head

Disclaimer- I do not in any way own ore hope to own the absolutely wonderful Invader Zim. And sadly, I am in no way associated with its wonderful creator.

Oh, and for this story, I for got to tell you all, I DO NOT CARE IF THIS IS ACCURATE, this story is practically au…or is au….I don't know

And now….on with the story

ZIM

"Dib" Zim shouted, trying to grab the razor from out of Dib's hand. "Leave me alone Zim…I deserve it" he cried, jerking his arm out of Zim's grasp and preparing to make another slit. "Dib…please, give me the blade" he said slowly, not wanting to upset the boy further. "Why" he said not moving an inch either way. "I don't want you to hurt yourself" Zim said, edging toward the sobbing boy.

"You don't love me…you want me dead" he yelled, tears obscuring his vision. "No…I could NEVER want you dead" Zim said, sternly. "Yes you do" he said sadly. "You don't love me…no one dose." Dib said, moving to make his final slit.

"WAIT" Zim yelled, trying to stall for time. "Dib…why do you think that no one loves you." Zim asked edging slightly forward. 'Because…they all blame me" he said, turning towards Zim who stood still as to not alarm Dib. "Blame you for what?" "My mother's death…it is my fault…everything's my fault.." Dib said, looking at the blade in his hand. "No it's not dib." 'I've got to calm him down' he thought franticly. "dib…you said that you thought that I hated you…why?" he asked, knowing the answer, but trying to keep Dib talking.

"I'm always trying to stop you,…you must hate me" he said simply, not noticing Zim's movement. "I don't" Zim said simply, edging up closer. "I could never hate you…in fact…I…" 'what do I feel for Dib' Zim asked himself. ' I care a bout weather or not he's hurt…and I want him to like me…I care about him…but do I…love him?" Zim asked himself, watching Dib's every move.

"What do you feel for me Zim…hatred…disgust…pity" Dib said, not looking up. "I…I feel…" Zim thought inwardly struggling with his emotions "I do not hate you…and I am not disgusted by you…I do pity you, but that isn't the reason that I want you to stop" Zim said, inching forward. 'I'm almost there' Zim thought inching forward the last few steps. "And why is that Zim" Dib asked looking up too late.

Zim grabbed Dib's arm and watched as the blade fell from Dib's hand. Zim grabbed dib around the waist, but unfortunately, dib grabbed the blade before Zim could pull him out into the open. Zim tackled dib, and sat on his waist pinning his hands down and being careful not to further injure Dib's already mutilated arms.

"See…you do hate me" Dib yelled, tears still streaking down his face. "No, I want to save you" Zim panted, shaking the blade out of Dib's hand. " If you didn't hate me, then you would let me die…I deserve it" Dib cried. "You don't deserve to die….you deserve to live and be happy…you deserve to be saved." Zim said, looking down at his crying figure. "You can't save me" Dib cried, trying to wiggle out of Zim's grasp.

"Maybe…but I can try" Zim said, pressing his lips firmly on top of dibs'. instantly dib froze, and after a few seconds he relaxed and enjoyed the feeling of Zim's soft lips on his.

"Don't you see Dib-worm" Zim said releasing his hold on dib. "I'll help you" Zim said, waiting for Dib's reply.

"Why do you care" Dib asked, sitting up. "Because I do dib worm, because I do" Zim said, leaning forward and placing another light kiss on Dib's soft lips.


	9. Chapter 9

THANK YOU ALL

Ok, for everyone who has read this fic, I just wanted to say sorry,

It wasn't that good for one, it was severely lacking in love, and I'm ending it short….you all hate me don't you…lol

I'm not actually ending it, but I'm going to make a sequel.

Thank you to my reviewers, CrazyUFOgirl and Storm Dragon Girl and a verry special thanks to Rinny Sega who's been reading this from the beginning.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to actually read this fic,

Here's the summary to the next one- ' Zim has vowed to help dib, and dib has excepted the help. But when Gaz finds out about their 'relationship' and Dib's problems, she tells the whole school. Now dib is in counseling, on the edge of loosing it, and Zim…well, Zim is doing everything that he can to keep dib alive all awhile dealing with his own newly found depression(he found out about the tallest). Through their ridicule and abuse…both mental and physical…by the homophobic community, they are falling into darkness. And they both doubt that they'll make it.

Warnings, this fic will include cutting, suicidal themes, violence, language, abusive or violent themes, sexual themes, mild to moderate psychosis, self hatred, and other violent or S.I., themes and SLASH


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